Day 29: Networking Feels Uncomfortable? Here Are 3 Ways to Reframe It

Why would anyone help me? I have nothing to offer.

That’s a common fear I hear from clients like Jodar, who feel uncomfortable “networking” during their job search. He doesn’t want to connect just to ask for something.

Sound familiar?

First, you will not be asking for something. I’ll get to that in the first point. Second, what’s the alternative? If you don’t start connecting with people, you’ll keep doing what you’re doing — sending cold applications and hearing nothing back.

I’ve worked for 7 companies in 12 years. On average, I’ve switched jobs every 1.5 years, and except for my first where I was recruited out of university, every role came through networking (or rather, relationship-building). I’ve never landed a position by sending a cold application.

Here’s how I help my clients reframe their approach to networking and get more comfortable with it:

𝟭. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 — 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽-𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴.

These are your future friends and colleagues. People who understand how networking works are in it for the long game. Think back to making friends as a kid. You didn’t walk up and say, "This is what I can do for you!" You said, "Hi, I like volleyball too!" In most cases, it’s enough to reach out with common ground, whether it’s a shared nationality, role, or association.

𝟮. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿? 𝗢𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻, 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿.

In our daily lives, we aren’t often heard. It’s the same with the people you connect with. Reach out with curiosity and a genuine desire to learn about them.

As Dale Carnegie writes:

If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people.

𝟯. 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 — 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹.

It’s not you. It’s just how the numbers work. That’s why it’s Project 100, not Project 2. If you connect with the right message, 50-80% will connect back. The rest of the people are probably in a busy time in their life right now, or they don’t check LinkedIn. Who knows? It doesn’t matter. Keep the focus on building relationships, and the results will follow.

So, if you’re stuck sending cold applications, it's time to change tactics. Reach out, connect, and build relationships. Your next opportunity is likely waiting through a conversation.