Three months ago, I said that I’m going to get abs in three months… Or I’m paying 4 people $125. Each.
In this article, you will finally see the results of the 3-month dare.
You’ll find out my real motivation behind the dare and the mistakes I made. You’ll see pictures of my stomach I really don’t want to post… And you’ll determine the fate of my $500.
photo credit: http://www.spendwithpennies.com/
How to Risk $500
Step 1: Judge people. Assume you understand the shit they go through.
Let’s get this out of the way: I made the dare because I got tired. Tired of what I assumed were you making excuses.
And I said to myself,
“Self, people are full of themselves… If you can get abs in three months, there’s no reason they can’t do something easy. Like eat more vegetables or skip dessert. It’s not that hard! Really…”
With a deadline and a financial stake, no way I can’t force myself to succeed, right? After all, everyone encourages public accountability, I’ve already lost more than 30 pounds and I’m really mentally tough…
Step 2: Operate from a mindset of scarcity.
A scarcity mindset is when you interpret and respond to situations based on the attitude that there’s not enough.
Think about it.
Maybe you don’t share your ideas. People might steal them and you fear you’ll never get a good one again. Or maybe you don’t introduce one friend to another. They might become better friends than they are to you.
In any case, it’s a mindset based on fear.
So anyways, mine was definitely a fear of losing money. That I don’t have enough. And if I lose it, I won’t get it back. The whole dare was based on the belief that money is scarce so I had to protect mine.
“You can’t lose $500…”
“You can’t lose $500…”
Avocado with a little coconut sugar…?
“You can’t lose $500…”
Step 3: Be terrified of failing.
You asked about the goal, “what does get abs mean?” Is it a flat stomach? A 4-pack? A 6-pack?
Truth is, I intended ambiguity… so whatever happens, I win!
I’m not proud of it but I never entertained the idea of failing. No way I’m going to humiliate myself. No way I’m going to throw away $500. There’s no way I am going to fail.
Ass-kicked, embarrassed, and humbled, here’s how everything backfired…
How to Make a Fool of Yourself
When I subjected myself to external pressure and disincentives, I stopped being healthy for my sake. I started doing it because I had to prove something. And because I was afraid of losing money.
When I put money on the line, I expected it to shortcut training my discipline muscle.
When I swore not to fail, I avoided failure instead of chasing success. And let me tell you this: When all you can think about is not eating a cookie, that cookie is all you can think about. <— Click to tweet
All this to say…
External pressure and disincentives
Fear of losing money
Avoidance of failure
And for me (and all you emotional eaters), chronic stress = eating junk.
I failed myself in every way. Here’s a summary of how I did it:
- I assumed I am more strong-willed than you. I am not.
- I presumed risking money will conjure discipline. It did not.
- I thought avoiding failure will bring success. It most definitely did not.
In fact, each assumption I made about you, me, success… Was wrong.
Instead of overnight success, they created a vicious cycle of anxiety and stress eating.
So sure, I was “smart enough” to create a back up by blurring my goal. (Turns out, I need it!) But what I didn’t anticipate was to need that backup. To have to face you and say that I succeeded, technically…
And you know what?
I’m not going to do it.
How to Come Out a Better Person
And so I considered my options:
Option 1: Chicken out. Abandon the dare.
People forget. You’ll forget this too.
But that’s just not my style.
Option 2: Show you an old “before” picture.
I have progress pictures from at least one year ago. You don’t have to know how old they are. I justified, if the goal is to inspire, then these pictures do the job.
But then there’s already too much bullshit in the internet. And I asked myself if I really wanted to add to it…
I decided I don’t want you to read another “overnight success story.” I don’t want to show you one-year results, pretend it took me three months, and set false expectations.
So I decided to trudge the proverbial road less traveled…
Option 3: Make the difficult choice. Do the right thing. Tell the truth.
I wanted to and I’m sad that I can’t, but I’m not going to light a fire under your ass, inspire you to blog, and publicly blackmail yourself to get abz.
I don’t want you to do that, fail, question yourself forever, and never believe in yourself ever again.
My results are not phenomenal. They’re not groundbreaking. In fact, they’re underwhelming.
But they’re mine.
And most importantly, they’re real.
Before I show them to you, let’s talk about some important things first.
1) Losing weight and getting abs are not physiological. They’re mental.
A lot of people ask me, “How much weight did you lose? How long did it take?” The answer is more than 30 pounds of pure fat in a few months. Sounds impressive?
But the question is wrong.
It would be more useful to ask how long I struggled NOT to get to 145 in the first place. How long I yoyoed between 140-150.
Because that’s how long it takes. And that shit took forever.
Changing the habits you cultivated for 20, 30, or even 50 years is not easy. You can’t just make a random promise on the internet, scare yourself into losing some money, and hope they’ll magically turn you into a disciplined robot.
I’m sure others have done it. And maybe you can too. But I can’t. Maybe I’m just weak. For at least two years, I tried, failed, and persisted. Yet, I still fell short.
You have to work at it. One day at a time. One meal at a time. One cookie at a time.
It’s possible, but it’s hard work and persistence. And there are no shortcuts.
It’s a battle, not against yourself, but for yourself. Against your habits and your environment.
2) I want you to know it’s okay to fail. And when it happens, it doesn’t make you a failure.
Most people will tell you how they succeeded and how you can do it too.
Well, I just told you something different: I tried, (maybe) I failed, and here’s why I hope you’ll try too.
It’s not what happens to you that determines your happiness and success in life, it’s how you respond. -Smart Person Google Couldn’t Find*
But if you don’t venture beyond what you think you’re capable of, with failure, how will you learn?
Finally, I hope you change how you perceive failure.
You fail when you fall short of what is expected. But failing doesn’t make you a failure.
Know what it makes you? Someone who dares.
Someone who dare to improve herself, go beyond what she’s comfortable with, and risk failure because it’s the only way to truly succeed.
Yeah, whatever. So you have abs already or not?
My definition was ambiguous right? So I don’t know.
I fell short of my expectations, definitely. But I don’t know if it means I failed.
And since the point was to make you hold me accountable, it only seems logical that you decide.
What do you think?
Here’s what’s going to happen, you vote either: Option A: “You suck. You failed! Give up your $500!” or Option B: “Good enough for me!” If more people vote Option A, then I will give 4 people $125 each. That’s cool. Let’s learn to operate from a mindset of abundance. But honestly? I hope you choose Option B. Not only because I save money, but because my personal takeaway from this… Is to know when good enough is good enough. And I hope what I’ve learned is good enough for me will be good enough for you too. You can vote here (you see the responses in real time after you vote): Even if you don’t care, you should still vote because they say it makes you a responsible person. Or something.
Voting is now closed.
Also, it is interesting to note that there are 27 consecutive “You suck.”s all withing 3-4 seconds of each other. (I should have used a polling system that prevents repeat voters. Oh well.)
So… What are you struggling with right now? Have you thought about using public accountability to achieve ambitious goals? Have you tried?
Please leave a comment below
P.S. The people who qualify from the original post: GirlGoneTrading, Queena, Mica San Juan, Dean Dulay, Thea, Kyle de Leon, Paulo Castro, Stefan Punongbayan, Mara Villegas, Lynn T., Alyssa Pantangco, Ryan Malit, Katrina Lee, Jamie Sio, Marianne Sibulo, Cholo, Jadd, Eins Balagtas, Mar, chary, Meilyn, Nikki L, Elias, Jamoy, KC
P.P.S. This would have been a sure winner right??